1 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,200 {\an8}Sansa! Heel, heel, heel. 2 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,360 {\an8}Dogs! No, dogs, come here. 3 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,160 {\an8}Bollocks. 4 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,200 {\an8}Piggly squats. 5 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,760 {\an8}Hello, piggies. 6 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,120 How are you all? 7 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:39,680 Piggies! 8 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,440 These are the girls, they're very playful. 9 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,760 These are all the pregnant mothers. 10 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:51,560 It was now early March, 11 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,600 and the explosion of newborn Piggly Squat piglets 12 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,720 was due to hit the farm at any moment. 13 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,120 Are you going to give birth? 14 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:10,160 Also, as it was March, Kaleb was busy with the spring crops 15 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,280 and I'd come up with an idea which I thought might help him along. 16 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,920 We're running out of space. 17 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,040 - What's in here? - Fertiliser. 18 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,800 What? What the fuck? 19 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,640 I bought a hovercraft. 20 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,880 Talk to me! 21 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,960 Well, as you know, I love hovercrafts. 22 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,080 My plan is... He doesn't know this yet. 23 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,800 I know you're stunned. 24 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,400 - A little bit. - It's for you. 25 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,720 And, as odd as that sounded, 26 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:45,000 I wasn't actually talking nonsense. 27 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,800 Hovercraft are making a bid to be the farmer's best friend. 28 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,880 There's no more of that dead weight on the axles 29 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,240 and the truck moves with ease over the muddiest surface. 30 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,920 That means the farmer can get his work done when he wants, 31 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,720 whereas with an ordinary tractor, it would be impossible. 32 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,920 Now there's a hopeless position for you. Well and truly stuck. 33 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,840 Temper, temper! 34 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,840 You can always get one of those hover trucks with a bit of skirt. 35 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,160 My plan was simple: 36 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:29,000 If we used a hovercraft to spray the crops with fertiliser... 37 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,160 Perfect. 38 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:35,720 Then we could do away with the tramlines that normal sprayers need, 39 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:41,320 so we could plant crops where those tramlines normally go. 40 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,440 I did the calculation last night. 41 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,960 Do you know how many miles of tramline there are on this farm? 42 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,560 - How many miles? - 54. 43 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,600 - What? - 54 miles of tramline. 44 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,240 And they're about that wide. 45 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,960 So that adds up to... 46 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:59,560 Well, I did the cost of lost crop. It's £5,200 a year. 47 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,200 - Wow. - Now, with this, no tramlines. 48 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,360 Obviously, I then had to explain to Kaleb 49 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,320 that operating a hovercraft is a bit more tricky 50 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:12,960 than driving a tractor. 51 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,080 So you've got two engines. 52 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,200 Yeah. 53 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,520 This is your lift engine, 54 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:19,920 that fills the skirt with air. 55 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,320 Then, once you've got the lift, 56 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,920 you start your right-hand engine. 57 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,520 This is your throttle. 58 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:28,920 Okay. It's not the brake? 59 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,160 No. You have no brakes. 60 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,920 Right? You see, these are your handlebars. 61 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,200 - You see they turn the flaps on the back. - Okay, yeah. Yeah. 62 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,400 They make no difference. 63 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,520 - Okay. - Absolutely no difference. 64 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,200 If you see an obstacle, and you do that, you're going to hit it. 65 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,480 You have to lean. So basically, you're either like this... 66 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,760 You sort of lean, get right over like that. 67 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,016 - And that steers it? - And that will make it go right. 68 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,520 And then, get over like that, and that... 69 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,480 Get as much weight as you can, as far over. 70 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,480 - And that'll steer it. - And that'll steer it along with... 71 00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,696 - That. - The handlebars. 72 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,600 But effectively, you've no braking and no steering. 73 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,536 Okay. Can I have a go before I start spraying? 74 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,280 Yes, I think that's a very good idea. 75 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,680 This feels so good, telling you what to do. 76 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,360 Oh, now it's going. 77 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,680 Wow! 78 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:21,000 Lean! 79 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,560 Hang on... I'm leaning! 80 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,160 Oh, my God! 81 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,496 Come on, man, you're supposed to going in a straight line. 82 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:32,560 This is useless! 83 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,480 That's as straight as a roundabout! 84 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,320 All right, turn! 85 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:37,240 Lean! 86 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,760 Lean! 87 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,240 Lean and power! 88 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,360 My young apprentice is doing well. 89 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:48,920 I've got it. 90 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,800 Fallen out. He's fallen out. 91 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:56,720 Ah! 92 00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,160 Not good. 93 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,800 Come on, you clown. 94 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,920 I need to learn this shit, I'm going spraying. 95 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,080 Turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn. 96 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,720 You see, it's just gliding over the weeds. 97 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,200 Turn, turn, turn. No... Turn. 98 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,200 We get the spray fitted, fertiliser applied. 99 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,560 Turn, turn, turn. 100 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:31,240 All we need to do is teach him how to stop. 101 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,880 With the driving lesson successfully concluded, 102 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,840 it was time to test the hovercraft as a crop sprayer. 103 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,600 Tell you what, you look like a shit gimp. 104 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,800 - This is liquid... - Fertiliser. 105 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,480 Liquid nitrate. 106 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,120 - Yeah. - It's phenomenally corrosive. 107 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:58,120 Once Kaleb had finished filling my bespoke fertiliser tanks, 108 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:00,760 we were ready for the off. 109 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:01,720 You ready? 110 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:02,920 Yup. 111 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,600 Go ahead, my young apprentice. 112 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,920 Yee-haw! 113 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,080 Oh, it's spraying, it's spraying. 114 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,360 I'm getting good at this! 115 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:28,880 Woohoo! 116 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,280 Hey, this isn't bad. 117 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,480 Now just go a little bit to the left of that. 118 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,920 Yeah. On my way. 119 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,520 But then, after exactly 75 seconds... 120 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,720 Kaleb, is there any spray coming out? 121 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,320 No. 122 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,200 Oh, for fuck's sake. 123 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,160 Is that it? 124 00:06:58,320 --> 00:06:59,400 Oh, I'm empty. 125 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,040 - And how big's this field? - 20 acres. 126 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,040 How many times are you going to have to refill with fertiliser? 127 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,640 Er... 25 times. 128 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,200 You're joking. 129 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,160 It's going to take me about 8 hours to spray this field. 130 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,280 That means I've got to spend 8 hours in this gimp suit. 131 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,760 I think we stick to the sprayer, please. 132 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,040 Can you please undress me? 133 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:30,960 Cut. 134 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:37,440 Clearly, I needed bigger fertiliser tanks on the hovercraft, 135 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,200 which meant it would need more powerful engines 136 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,360 to deal with the extra weight. 137 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,000 That was a big job. 138 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,920 And there was no time to do it 139 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,000 because the next day 140 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,320 winter came back. 141 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,960 And then the next night, 142 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,560 our feed from the cameras in the pigloos 143 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,360 suggested one of the Mums was about to give birth. 144 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,240 Let's see how she's getting on. 145 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,760 Look, there's an actual piglet. 146 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,200 That's her first baby ever. 147 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,040 Oh, I think we've got a problem here. 148 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,280 Concerned that the piglet was not finding a teat to drink from, 149 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,000 Lisa went in to help. 150 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,080 Oh my gosh, there's a teat, there. 151 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,320 Oh, she's on the teat. 152 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:06,520 Good little one. 153 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,160 It's March 10th, it shouldn't be this cold. 154 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:12,360 The climate is changing. 155 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:16,880 Somebody needs to mention that 156 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,000 because it's really bad. 157 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,000 This is the best bit of farming I've had so far. 158 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,320 How many will we get? 159 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,080 How many teats has this one got, 16? 160 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,200 - Yeah, yeah, that's 16. - So she could have 16 piglets. 161 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,880 This joy, however, soon turned into concern 162 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,640 because over an hour went by 163 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,840 and no more piglets appeared. 164 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,320 Come on. Come on Mum. 165 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,600 One's not enough. 166 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,840 Come on, you can do it. Come on. 167 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,600 I was told they were born like machine gun bullets. 168 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,120 You know they go duh-duh-duh... 169 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:01,880 Come on Mum. 170 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,520 She's properly wobbling. 171 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,400 I would say that is a pig in distress. 172 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,480 - The vet's not answering. - Welcome to the EE voicemail... 173 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,360 And neither is Kaleb. 174 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,040 Shite! 175 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,760 Eventually though, one of the vets answered. 176 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,000 Hello? 177 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:33,320 Hi, there. It's Jeremy Clarkson here at Diddly Squat Farm. 178 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:34,280 Hum... 179 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:35,640 Hey, what's going on? 180 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,840 Well, we've got a gilt 181 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,440 who's given birth to one piglet an hour and 20 minutes ago 182 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,520 and seems to be in some distress. 183 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,640 And nothing else has come since. 184 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:48,400 Is that normal, an hour and 20 minutes between births, or should we be worried? 185 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,480 - An hour and 20, did you say? - Yeah. 186 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,720 It's usually much faster than that. 187 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,680 Is she actively pushing or does she just look like she's moving around? 188 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,200 Does she look uncomfortable? 189 00:10:58,360 --> 00:10:59,880 She looks, I would say, uncomfortable, 190 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,000 but Lisa keeps telling me that's how people look... 191 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,720 Well... How creatures look when they're giving birth. 192 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,880 I mean, she's vibrating and snorting and... 193 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,520 I'd say it looked like she's in distress 194 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,120 but I'm a man, I have no idea what I'm talking about so... 195 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,680 Lisa's gone back to the farm to see if she can find a rubber glove 196 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,320 and is very happy to pop in there and have a look... A feel. 197 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,856 Yeah, that might be the first... the best thing to do, 198 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,616 because it's easier for you to have a feel and see if you can feel anything. 199 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,560 So yeah, have you got any lube up there as well? 200 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:32,960 Lisa will have some lube. 201 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,800 Don't put that on television. 202 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,616 That's fine... if you go to feel in there 203 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,080 and see if she can feel a piglet, 204 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,040 if she can feel front legs or back legs 205 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,200 and they feel like they're coming in the normal position. 206 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:45,656 She can give them a bit of a tug? 207 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:48,280 Okay. Thanks, Jenny. Take care, bye. Bye. 208 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,400 I have those, but I also have... 209 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,280 Oh, perfect. 210 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,160 I don't know if I'll be able to feel much. I think I prefer those. 211 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,800 Okay. Well, let's get in there quickly because it's nearly two hours now. 212 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,040 According to Jenny, you put your hand in 213 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,480 and if you can feel legs or head, you've got to try and tease it out. 214 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,000 If it's sideways, we've got to give her a call. 215 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,480 Good girl, good girl, good girl. 216 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,320 Oh, I'm so sorry. 217 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,520 She's stopped. She's really stopped. 218 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,200 Okay, I'm in. I'm in, I'm in. 219 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,280 - And? - I'm in. 220 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,320 - Oh, my God, that's so far up. - Can you feel a piglet? 221 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,760 I'm not... No. I really can't feel anything. 222 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,640 They're so far in. 223 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,496 - I'm going to ring Jenny again. - Please, ring Jenny. I... 224 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,960 Okay, no, no. Well done. 225 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,280 We can either give her an injection of oxytocin 226 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,240 which sometimes helps 227 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:48,280 or in the meantime we can get her up and walk her around. 228 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:49,536 What? Get her out and walk her? 229 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,776 If you try and get her and move her around a little bit 230 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,040 - sometimes it stimulates everything. - Okay. 231 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,080 Oh, nice. 232 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,080 It's so cold. 233 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:08,720 Come on, pig. 234 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:12,600 She's not going to in a million years. She's in lab our. 235 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,336 Did the vet say: "Just walk her around"? 236 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,680 When you were in lab our, if someone had come in with a Maccy D, 237 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,560 you wouldn't have said: "Oh, I'll follow that." You wouldn't. 238 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,840 - No, although she's a pig. - Oh, she's coming! 239 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:26,480 I can't believe it! 240 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,080 She's actually in lab our 241 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,560 and she's come out for a Maccy D. 242 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,400 Hum... 243 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,400 I'm bonding. I'm bonding with my piglet. 244 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,560 No, don't let her in. 245 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:43,400 No! She's treading on me. 246 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,920 No! Fucking hell, what's going on? 247 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,560 I can't find... The pig has beaten me. 248 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:49,920 Jesus. 249 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,640 I've been in a wrestling match with a pig. 250 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,560 - In you go. - Lisa? 251 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,760 We've got to get her out for a walk. 252 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,560 That's what the vet said. 253 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,640 - Lisa. - She's having huge contractions. 254 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,880 She's been for a walk and she's having... 255 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,800 She hasn't been for a walk! 256 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,960 If I did that, you wouldn't call that a walk. 257 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:14,000 It's coming. It's coming, it's coming. We have a piglet. Yes! 258 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,520 It's steaming, it's steaming! She's steaming, there's steam. 259 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:18,920 It's a big piglet. 260 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,800 There you go, come here. 261 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,600 Come here slithery girl. 262 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,440 That's two. 263 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,016 There's a fart. That's another piglet coming. 264 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,136 - Is it? - Yup. 265 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,560 Pig coming. Pig coming. 266 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,040 Yes, look. Pig three. 267 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,640 Lisa, he's attached... she's attached to her mother. What do I do? 268 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,800 What, what, what? 269 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,920 - She's attached with a stringy thing. - No, that's fine, 270 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,720 it's the umbilical cord. It's part of it. It's part of the process. 271 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,560 - Go on, lick it. - Oh, my God, it's so cute. 272 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,040 Three pigs! 273 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,280 Good mother. 274 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,280 Over the next couple of hours, seven more were born. 275 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,280 And after a quick nap, 276 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,400 we came back to see how everything was going. 277 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,800 Morning, piggies. 278 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:13,600 Well done, Mum. 279 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,440 Ten piggies. 280 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:17,400 - Jeremy? - What? 281 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:20,240 There's one here not moving. Have a look. Can you go in? 282 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:21,840 Oh no. 283 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,600 Are they okay? 284 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,240 Darling, are they okay? 285 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:32,800 Oh no, it's a big healthy one too. Did you get... 286 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,640 Did you get laid on? 287 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:36,840 Oh no. 288 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,376 Lisa? 289 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,120 Whoa! She's just sat on another one. 290 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:42,640 Oh, look... 291 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,176 She's obviously squashing them. 292 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,080 They're perfect. You're a big lovely one. 293 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,720 And you're a sweet little sow. 294 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,640 So we've got two, three, four, five. 295 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,200 Wait a minute, seven. She's lying on one. 296 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,440 There's only seven. 297 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,080 Shit! Shit, shit, shit. 298 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,440 - Where's the other one gone? - Behind you. 299 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,960 I think she's lying on one of them again. 300 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,720 - Okay, yeah. - Yes, there is one behind her. 301 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,120 Oh, for fuck's sake. She's squashed it again. 302 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,440 - You are a shit mother. - No, she's not. 303 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,376 She is. She was lying on one of them. 304 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,640 That's how 2 of them have obviously died. 305 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,800 - But she's shattered. - Look, there it is. 306 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,160 Three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Right, they're all... 307 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,840 That's better, now. 308 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,040 You mustn't sit on your children. 309 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,600 You do realise we've got this every night now for a week. 310 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,640 We kind of messed up, didn't we? 311 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:34,840 - We did. - Yeah. 312 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,120 Sure enough, that night... 313 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,480 Another sow started giving birth. 314 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,040 But this time to a litter of only three. 315 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,320 How are you doing, Mum? 316 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,000 So now... 317 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,600 The first one gave birth to ten, 318 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,720 sat on two of them, so we're down to eight. 319 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,560 Nine, ten, eleven. 320 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,400 And one has been born down here, this morning. 321 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:06,560 That's 12. 322 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,960 She is so enormous. 323 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,800 Oh, look at you! Yes. 324 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:19,200 So we've got Clumsy Pig, that sat on two of her piglets and killed them. 325 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,800 Swiz Pig, 326 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,400 that promised to deliver 10 or 12 or 16 piglets 327 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,800 and delivered only three. 328 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,200 And now we've got Unit Pig! 329 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,760 There was... How did that happen? 330 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,280 I was literally talking to the camera man for two seconds, 331 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,920 I've looked back in there and there's another one come out. 332 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,560 This is a good pig, she's birthing well. 333 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:48,960 Lisa arrived just in time to see Unit pop number three out. 334 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,680 There's another one! 335 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,240 Oh! 336 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,000 Come on out. Come on, come on. 337 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,680 By the end of the morning, Unit had produced ten piglets. 338 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,960 And because she was an experienced Mum who'd had litters before, 339 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,720 she seemed to know what she was doing. 340 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,200 Well done, Mum! 341 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,080 However, when we checked in later on... 342 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,000 We've got one, two, three, four, 343 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,560 five, six, seven, eight, nine. 344 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,240 Oh... 345 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:27,640 Fuck it. 346 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,040 Oh no. 347 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:32,280 Oh... 348 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,200 I can't bear it. Another one. 349 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,080 - She's obviously squidged it. - Yeah... 350 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,440 We then went to check on the other Mums. 351 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,800 - And then this is eight left. - Yeah. 352 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,320 Because two died. 353 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,880 There's only seven. She can't have killed another one. 354 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,920 Oh no... 355 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,560 Oh, for fuck's sake! 356 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,680 Oh my God, that's so upsetting. 357 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,560 Bottom line, we'd now lost four piglets 358 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,480 as well as three of the five surprises that had come along 359 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,080 just over two months earlier. 360 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,400 Oh, they're adorable. 361 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,320 - Seven piglets have died. - Out of? 362 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,400 Twenty-eight. A quarter of them have died. 363 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,440 What are we doing wrong? 364 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,960 Worried that we were indeed making some terrible mistake... 365 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,376 - Hi. - How are you? 366 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:39,200 Vanessa. 367 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,240 We consulted our neighbours, Vanessa and Andy, 368 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,880 who'd been pig farmers for years. 369 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,680 Seven piglets, 25% of the piglets have been squashed, 370 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,440 - which is a lot, isn't it? - Yes, it is. 371 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,280 But I mean, how... 372 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,736 Mothers sitting on them. 373 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,080 Okay. I mean, it's not uncommon. 374 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,800 They are classically terrible mothers. 375 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,800 Some are worse than others. 376 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:04,800 This breed is classically terrible? 377 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:05,960 Yes. 378 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,520 Well, and pigs in general just... 379 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,400 One thing about the arcs is that 380 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,760 if they're in a big house altogether with other sows, 381 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:20,240 the other sows do sort of tell the one who's sat on her piglets. 382 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,160 They will make some fuss. They notice it. 383 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,560 If you've got a bad mother, the others will tell them it. 384 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,480 Having processed this information, 385 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,320 we then spoke with Kaleb. 386 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,400 The biggest problem is, the piglets are cold. 387 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:36,800 Now, when the Mum lays down... 388 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,320 The Mum stands up to go and eat, the piglets are going: "Fuck, it's cold." 389 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,920 It's cold, so they find each other. 390 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,800 And then the pig comes back in, the sow comes back in, 391 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,536 then they find the warmth automatically. 392 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:47,960 So when the pig starts to lay down, 393 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,680 - it's trying to get near the warmth ASAP. - Of the pig. 394 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:51,720 Do you see what I mean? 395 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,760 - It was bloody cold last night. - Yeah. 396 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,440 And this is why you're losing so many piglets. 397 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,960 It's not because you're a bad pig farmer, you're really good. 398 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,320 And I'm being nice. You are good. You are good. 399 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,440 So now we knew why the piglets were dying, 400 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,720 but we couldn't work out what to do about it. 401 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,200 And that night, we lost another. 402 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,960 And we had a new problem, 403 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:23,560 because the remaining pregnant sow was showing absolutely no sign 404 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,280 of giving birth. 405 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,320 Her milk hasn't even come down. How can she be so far behind? 406 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,880 She could be barren. 407 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,560 Shall we call her Barren? 408 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,560 Baroness. 409 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,136 Well, this is your favourite one, this is. 410 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,920 Yes, this is my friend. She's so gentle. 411 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,440 She's very lovely. 412 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,160 She was also eating very little, 413 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,240 so we called out Jenny the vet. 414 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,336 - So this is our poorly pig. - She's very sweet. 415 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:55,360 I hear she's not eating very well, so that can't be good for anybody. 416 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,440 It means we should hopefully be close. 417 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:02,440 Doubtless, Lisa will now arrange for it to be taken away in a luxury ambulance 418 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:07,000 and put into a kind of pig nursing home 419 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,520 with streaming television to watch. 420 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,360 She's had that food in front of her now 421 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,120 for 12 hours or more. 18 hours? 422 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,000 And she kind of sits there, and she doesn't even move. 423 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,840 She kind of puts her tongue out, almost, and takes a bit. 424 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,776 She snuffles up a bit, she doesn't eat like a pig. 425 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,920 Yeah, which makes me think that something's not right. 426 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:31,600 - She does look really not very happy... - Yeah. 427 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,320 In the way she's moving. 428 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,760 She's got a rasp in her breathing when you're listening to her lungs, 429 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,760 so I'm wondering whether she's got a touch of infection going on there. 430 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,000 So what I probably will be inclined to do 431 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,120 is give her an anti-inflammatory, give her an antibiotic, 432 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,560 see how she goes. 433 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,840 Sorry, darling, you're not going to like this very much. 434 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,360 Good girl. 435 00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,560 Okay, she's done. 436 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:00,720 Well done. 437 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,440 She's pregnant, right? 438 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,120 She definitely looks really heavy down low, 439 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,360 which suggests that she might be pregnant. 440 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,480 So that's good. Good girl! 441 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,136 - Thanks, Jenny. - Let us know if she's not getting better. 442 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:13,200 Yeah, will do. 443 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:22,040 While we were waiting anxiously for Baroness to go into lab our, 444 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,280 bigger events were unfolding around us. 445 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,200 Down at West Oxfordshire District Council, 446 00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:35,200 a government inspector had arrived to adjudicate on our appeal 447 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,320 against the enforcement notice. 448 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,760 We'd been advised not to attend, 449 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,840 so instead, we went into overdrive 450 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,800 to make sure everything in the farm shop was super local, 451 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:54,200 council compliant and completely above board. 452 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,840 This... Ned, who works for us, he's just turned sixteen, 453 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,520 these are his biscuits, he makes them on his own kitchen. 454 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,280 Granola, that's a girl down the road. 455 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,160 Flour comes from that field over there. 456 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,560 These are all made up in our kitchen. 457 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,840 This, a neighbour down the road makes. 458 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,560 This... This is Mrs. Viktor. Viktor does our honey, 459 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,920 And Mrs. Viktor makes her soap using our honey. 460 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,840 This is using... 461 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,760 Our delicious jerky 462 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,560 using our chillies again. We're growing more chillies this year. 463 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,200 These are made in Chipping Norton from a local baker. 464 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,240 This... This is made using our wheat. 465 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,240 Err... Over here this is our gin. That's made in Burford. 466 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,960 The pottery is made from a local lady. 467 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,840 So this is our past chilli... 468 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,680 The programme's only 40 minutes long and you've been 28 minutes... 469 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:44,840 Shush then. 470 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,400 Of equal importance was the future of the burger van 471 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,120 because with no restaurant, 472 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:55,680 this had become the only way of selling our beef and pork at a profit. 473 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,616 I need a burger and a truffle and parmesan for this, chef. 474 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:00,640 Thank you. 475 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:05,200 Annie, who runs the van, had been to the council hearing that day 476 00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:09,520 to plead the case for her business to stay open. 477 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,720 Vomit, what's it like? 478 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,960 It's a big room, and then there are, 479 00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:15,880 at the back of the room, sort of, twelve rows 480 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,120 of eight across seats with an aisle down the middle. 481 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,440 Then you've got the council on one side with their legal representation, 482 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:27,360 and then the guy presiding over the top of all looking down at you. 483 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,240 - Has he got a beard? - No. 484 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,400 Oh, that's good. 485 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,480 You go in. 486 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,760 I was late because of a severe lack of parking, the irony. 487 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,600 So I went in and found a seat next to Emma, 488 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,840 who does the milk, so I thought at least I've got an ally. 489 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,040 And then he said would anyone from the floor like to comment? 490 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,560 I stood up and I said: "My name is Annabel Gray, 491 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,440 I grew up in a farming community. 492 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,640 I lived in the countryside most of my life. 493 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,720 Now I run the catering trailer behind Diddly Squat." 494 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,440 At which point there was a gasp around the room. 495 00:25:58,600 --> 00:25:59,400 360s. 496 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,696 I was like: "Oh, gosh. Here we go." 497 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,800 And I said: "I'm really passionate about this. 498 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,920 You have got something which could be a massive asset. 499 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,200 Yes, it's not perfect, you know. I hide no secrets. 500 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,960 There are stuff we need to deal with, 501 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:14,040 but no one knows what you're next going to get upset about. 502 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,280 So give us the infrastructure to make it something brilliant." 503 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,400 Exactly. They said we could have one lavatory, that was sufficient. 504 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,280 And they said that nine car parking spaces were sufficient. 505 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,800 The council guy that I've just witnessed is saying based on ten spaces, 506 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,040 everyone get in, get out the car, you've got five minutes to run round. 507 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,216 If you wanna grab something, 508 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,680 you've got to be back in your car in five minutes and out. 509 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,400 - In and out in five minutes? - In five minutes. Yeah. 510 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,480 So if somebody disabled turns up, I don't know how quickly he can get out. 511 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,960 Let's time him next time. "You've got five minutes." 512 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,400 But did you get a sense of how it's going down there? 513 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,696 Are they still trying to claim it isn't a farm shop? 514 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,800 Yeah, they're saying that people come and buy things 515 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,960 but actually, it's an entertainment and leisure facility. 516 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,560 This is what pisses me off though because I look at that... 517 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,040 Every single thing. 518 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,800 I know where that bread came from, the wheat, the beer. 519 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,800 And I look out there and see your operation. 520 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,960 And that's where all the meat goes that's cooked in bread 521 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,016 - that's also made with wheat from here. - In the farms. 522 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,200 And you think it couldn't be more of a farm. 523 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:17,360 Admittedly, when it first started, 524 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,680 we were taking the piss slightly, but now... 525 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:22,720 But I did love when the council said 526 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,680 people are driving past other farm shops which are better. 527 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:30,440 And you just think, our cows are grass-fed. 528 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,400 Yeah. 529 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,040 Nurtured through the winter, 530 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,840 the highest possible quality 531 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,720 and the council... 532 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,320 And it's not really their business. 533 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,880 They're saying: "Go to another farm shop, they have better quality produce." 534 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,160 And if they close you down, we have no way... 535 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,040 If you get closed, we're fucked. 536 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:49,920 Anyway, thank you ever so much. 537 00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:57,200 Chadlington football shirt. 538 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,800 "My shirt is better than your shirt." 539 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:04,520 I like that. 540 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,400 Oh, Lisa! These are my scales from the kitchen. 541 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:11,600 - Lisa! - What? 542 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,040 These are my scales from the kitchen. 543 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,280 - No, no, no. - Yes, they are! 544 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,336 - No, no, no. - Yes, they are. I couldn't find them. 545 00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:20,040 You've nicked my scales. 546 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,720 I might have needed to borrow them for a little bit for the veg. 547 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,600 Why don't you buy the shop a pair? 548 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,200 Because it's up here now. 549 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,120 I couldn't find those anywhere. 550 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,880 - You don't need to weigh a chicken. - You do! 551 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,016 You go "That's about 3 pounds," put it in the oven and see when it's cooked. 552 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,080 Yes, which is why I always have salmonella when you've cooked. 553 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,240 - Well, why don't you cook? - I do fucking cook! 554 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,296 - Well then, you won't get salmonella. - That's why... 555 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:42,360 I can't weigh anything. 556 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,600 I never know how much anything weighs. I wondered where they'd gone. 557 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:47,720 They're very good by the way. 558 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,680 Having followed proceedings closely, 559 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,240 Charlie reckoned it would be weeks before the inspector made a decision. 560 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,680 So all we could do was get back to farming. 561 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,080 Except we couldn't. 562 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,000 In mid-March, it started to rain, 563 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:19,360 and it didn't stop for days. 564 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,960 This hit Kaleb especially hard 565 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:32,000 because it was too wet to plant his most valuable crop. 566 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,600 The durum wheat is our big money crop, 567 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,800 and it could pull a lot of money, especially for my board this year, 568 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:42,200 it might potentially be profit and loss, so... 569 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,176 We've grown it for the last two years and we've seen how good it can be, 570 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,400 but annoyingly you need to get it in in perfect timing 571 00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,320 because if you don't, it suffers through the summer 572 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,240 and then the yields are normally down. 573 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:54,360 Hum... I wanted to... Yeah. 574 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,840 It's never going to stop raining, I don't think. 575 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,640 The endless wetness meant we couldn't work on the dam either. 576 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:04,960 Not a chance. 577 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,040 It's a lot of water, isn't it? 578 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,640 It's basically washed the clay away, look. 579 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,096 Well, we've got to wait for the water to go down. We cannot... 580 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:13,120 Yeah. 581 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:15,120 I agree. 582 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,160 I wanna go farming. 583 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,080 - You can't, it's raining. - I know. 584 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,680 There was though some good news from the pig wood, 585 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,600 because thankfully there had been no more piglet deaths. 586 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,800 Baroness, though, still hadn't gone into lab our. 587 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:13,960 And despite a week of antibiotics, she was clearly no better. 588 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,960 Slept outside last night because she's so hot. 589 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,400 She's not eating at all. 590 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:23,960 I don't know what we're doing wrong. 591 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,400 Something, right? 592 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:27,120 I mean... 593 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:28,840 This is... 594 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,400 It's heart-breaking. 595 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,360 Oh, Jenny's here, look. 596 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,080 Still unwell? 597 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:36,240 Yeah. 598 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,120 - She slept outside last night. - Yeah. 599 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,840 So her temperature went down probably because she slept outside. 600 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,280 - Yeah. - But her breathing is laboured. 601 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,160 Yeah, I'll take the second temperature. 602 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,160 But it could be that if she's got pregnant 603 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,200 and then had the piglets die inside, 604 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,520 they might not be triggering her to give birth, 605 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,160 but they might be sitting there, 606 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,440 - rotting inside her. - What do you do in that situation? 607 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,680 Possibly try and induce her so she'll kick them out. 608 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,360 Without more ado, we began the inducement procedure. 609 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,840 If the piglets are dead, 610 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,976 then we'll just concentrate on getting her well again, 611 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,240 - and then... - Yeah. Yeah. 612 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,280 Behind the ear. Inject. 613 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,496 - Is that it? - Yeah. 614 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,680 So three o'clock tomorrow, 615 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,600 with the second injection, which you'll do. 616 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:27,880 Yeah, I can do that. 617 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,800 It only should be a small amount, not like that big antibiotic injection. 618 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:31,680 No, exactly. 619 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:33,856 So you've only got a small amount and it should go really easily. 620 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:34,880 Okay, that's fine. 621 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,680 I'm going to give her this 622 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,360 and then in four to twelve hours' time, 623 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,880 she should be starting to give birth. 624 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,800 There we go. Oh, my God, hello my friend. 625 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,760 Done. 626 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,080 Yup! 627 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,480 By late afternoon, the medicine started to work, 628 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:10,120 and she gave birth to a piglet that was alive. 629 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,440 But there were still problems. 630 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,160 So the whole process has started. 631 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,320 She's given birth to one really small piglet. 632 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,120 She has no milk, 633 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,400 and the piglet is in there just looking for a teat 634 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:30,680 and there's no food. 635 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:32,240 How are we doing? 636 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,720 She's had one, she has no milk. 637 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:37,440 Look at that. 638 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:38,600 Oh, Jesus. 639 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,560 It's absolutely tiny. 640 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,840 - Have we got any pig milk? Like SMA? - No. 641 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,560 I mean, that's not a healthy piglet, is it? 642 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,120 Hello, veterinary clinic. 643 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,496 - Hi, Nathan? - Hi, there. 644 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,456 Hi, it's Jeremy Clarkson up at Diddly Squat. 645 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:54,480 Oh, yeah. 646 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,160 Sorry to trouble you. I gather both Dilwyn and Jenny are not there, 647 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,280 so I'm troubling you. 648 00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:00,976 - I don't... - That's all right. 649 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,840 I don't know if you're up to speed on our sickly sow. 650 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,400 She's popped a piglet out that is the size of a mouse. 651 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,560 She's not producing any milk. 652 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,120 I was wondering if you had any suggestions. 653 00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:14,296 So basically, if she's not letting down any milk, 654 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:15,800 it's because she's not producing any. 655 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,536 So, the next step is basically going to be 656 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,480 bottle feeding the piglets with some colostrum. 657 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,000 Colostrum? Where do we get colostrum from? 658 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:27,160 So, I think in this case it would probably be easiest if we use 659 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,280 a sort of pre-made lamb colostrum. 660 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:30,800 So I think what we'll do is 661 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,360 we'll put some up at the practice for you to collect 662 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,160 and it will be a case of following the instructions on it, 663 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:39,600 mixing it up and bottle feeding the piglets with it. 664 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:41,680 All right, Nathan, thanks. Bye, bye. 665 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,760 No worries, take care now, bye. 666 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,320 A member of the film crew went off to get the formula 667 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,560 and then Kaleb arrived... 668 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,520 - Is she still trying to push? - Yeah. 669 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,600 Just as Baroness gave birth to piglet number 2. 670 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,680 Oh! Yes, another one. 671 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,016 Is there another one? 672 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:01,296 Yeah, we have another one. 673 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:02,360 Is it alive? 674 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:03,840 Yeah. There we go. 675 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,480 God, is that one even smaller? Yeah. 676 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,600 That one is unbelievably tiny. 677 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,400 "I'm fucking hungry!" I bet you are. 678 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,160 This one is weak as hell, Kaleb. 679 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,840 One of them is as weak as hell. 680 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,600 That runt, that little tiny one? 681 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,280 No, the bigger one. She can't open her mouth. 682 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,960 She's just, you know... Her head's flopping around on the nipple. 683 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:44,080 Luckily, the formula milk was now ready to go. 684 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,280 All right. Well done. 685 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,600 - That's it. - Almost. 686 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:00,960 Good. 687 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:02,640 That's perfect. 688 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,160 We'll make you a big strong pig. 689 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,480 We'll have you up and about in no time. 690 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:17,280 Then Nathan arrived and started to work vet miracles. 691 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:18,640 We've got one. 692 00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:20,920 - He's okay? - Yup, alive. 693 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,680 Here we go, another one. 694 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:25,736 - Lisa? - Yes? 695 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,640 - How many now? - Four. 696 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,680 - Are they all alive? - Yes. 697 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,840 - Are they tiny? - Yes. 698 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,280 Hang on. I've got another one. 699 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,600 Soon, Baroness was mother to five piglets. 700 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,480 I'm just going to put them all next to Mum for a bit of warmth. 701 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,920 Because he's a bit cold there. Just pop them all together. 702 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,920 And having bottle fed them all, 703 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,560 we went home to grab a bit of sleep. 704 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,680 The next morning, 705 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,600 we found that three of the piglets had died. 706 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,120 They'd simply been too weak to survive. 707 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,680 We moved the remaining two to a heated pen at the farm, 708 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,600 but even that wasn't working. 709 00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,440 Another dead one. 710 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,040 Oh! 711 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,320 - Is that the only one that's left? - We've got one more. 712 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,520 How's the mother? Is she okay? 713 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:54,960 She's still alive. 714 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,040 We're losing a lot of piglets. 715 00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,520 - What? - We're losing a lot of piglets. 716 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,440 It's really tough, isn't it? 717 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,496 And this one, we just have to feed this one every 10 minutes or something. 718 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,120 I can't remember what the vet said. 719 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:15,760 Come here, you. 720 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,080 We've still got a feisty one. 721 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,680 Is this the one that was born second? 722 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,120 I've lost count. I honestly don't know. 723 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,480 We'll make it our life's mission to make that piglet survive. 724 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:34,440 Yeah. 725 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:35,840 And her mother. 726 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:37,920 The mother will survive. 727 00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:39,680 I'll go down and see her now. 728 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:41,840 You're going down? 729 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,760 That night we did what even the most hard-hearted farmer will do 730 00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:59,880 at a time like this. 731 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:01,160 Come on. There we go. 732 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:06,000 We took the sickly piglet into our kitchen to look after it there. 733 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:07,800 There we go. 734 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:09,280 Come on. 735 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:11,400 There we go. 736 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,400 Still a bit small. 737 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,400 It's still a bit cold to be honest. Your ears are cold. 738 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,440 Okay, let's pop you back in there. 739 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,680 Okay, get nice and warm. Yeah. 740 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,680 Now, I'm not going to put you in, 741 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,256 but it's just a lot warmer here, okay? 742 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:33,480 I know. I'm sorry. 743 00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:35,520 There we go, okay? 744 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,080 The next day, irony of ironies, 745 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:49,320 we had to go to the farm shop to meet Andy Garcia the butcher. 746 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,800 There's lots of it. Let's take a look at it. 747 00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:56,600 He'd finished preparing the pigs I'd recently taken to slaughter. 748 00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,360 Seven boxes, two pigs' worth of pork in these. 749 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:03,320 You should be doing the lifting, really. They're your pigs. 750 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,960 You're young and I've seen you hold a pram 751 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:11,160 - while aiming your gun at Al Capone. - Look at that. This is your favourite. 752 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,400 - These are belly pork strips. - Yum. 753 00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,000 Pork chops there. 754 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,120 You can tell they're really nice pigs because of the amount of fat on them. 755 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,920 Whoever's looking after them is doing a great job. 756 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,640 Erm... You can see that they're going to eat really well. 757 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:25,920 Lots of sausages. 758 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:26,880 Holy moly. 759 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,160 Carolina Reaper and honey sausages. 760 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,880 - Oh, my giddy aunt. - There's another box. 761 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,400 Two pigs have produced 762 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,760 4, 8. 763 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:40,480 - Jesus! - There's 36 packs of six in a box. 764 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,320 Jeremy, Sandy and Black Forest Sausages. 765 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,016 - Sounds good. - Sounds good doesn't it. 766 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,200 This is so good for my side of the chart. 767 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,160 God, strewth, that's brilliant. 768 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:53,600 Except it is so... One of the things I can't get my head around is, 769 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,960 we're having a really tottering time with the piglet births. 770 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,160 Hmm. 771 00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,520 - Really tottering. - Hmm-hmm. 772 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,040 So you're up all night, sort of nurturing these pigs and trying to make them warm, 773 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,600 trying to make them comfortable and trying to make them alive. 774 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:07,800 Yeah. 775 00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,680 And then you break off... 776 00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,040 to come here and receive all this. 777 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:14,480 Yeah. 778 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:15,680 Mixed emotions. 779 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,560 There's only one expression I can think of, and it's farmer logic. 780 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:23,200 'Cause you love animals. All farmers love their animals. 781 00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:27,160 - And then they kill them and sell them. - Hmm. 782 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:31,080 This way you can love them twice. 783 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:44,160 Back at the farm, as the rain continued to fall, 784 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,000 I brought the poorly piglet into my office 785 00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,640 so I could keep an eye on her while I was working. 786 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,520 I've moved her away from the Aga and brought her next to 787 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,520 the stove in the barn. 788 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:00,760 And she's really not well. 789 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:03,440 Hey. 790 00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:13,760 No... 791 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,840 - She's the last one. - I know. 792 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,640 I know, come on. 793 00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:19,840 No? 794 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:25,120 It's okay, little one. I'm with you, okay? 795 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:29,360 You can go, I'll stay with you. 796 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,080 - And her mother's not well either. - I know. 797 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,600 She's worse than she was before, to be honest. 798 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:36,800 She is. 799 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,040 I just find that heart-breaking. 800 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:02,080 Hi, Jenny. 801 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:03,040 - Hi, Jenny. - Hi, there. 802 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:04,640 Another familiar sight. 803 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:06,960 - I've heard she's not doing well. - Yeah. 804 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,960 No, I'm afraid she's passed. There's nothing there. 805 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,480 - Did she come out very little? - Yeah. 806 00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:22,640 But... 807 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:30,600 I can't do this. I can't have pigs anymore, honestly. 808 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:35,200 - A nightmare. I like them too much. - Hmm. 809 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,360 Unbelievably, the torment wasn't over. 810 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,440 Because we then had to turn our attention to Baroness, 811 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:57,640 now that every single one of her piglets had died. 812 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,040 Hello, darling. Hi, sweet pea. 813 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:02,680 Good girl. 814 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:04,640 Good girl. 815 00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:06,136 What are you doing now, Jenny? 816 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:09,800 Just taking her temperature, to see whether she has got a fever. 817 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,680 She's very wobbly though. 818 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:14,296 - She's walking like she's drunk. - She's really wobbly. 819 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,120 Yeah. Look. 820 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,216 You can see her swaying from side to side. 821 00:44:17,240 --> 00:44:20,320 She hasn't eaten. She's had a bit of water, and that's it. 822 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:25,000 You can see on the back end. Her bum should be round with muscle. 823 00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:26,800 It's really straight up and down. 824 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,800 She's obviously lost a huge amount of muscle there and support. 825 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,480 And the problem is, especially on this terrain, 826 00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,400 where she's up and down hills and it's all a bit lumpy bumpy, 827 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:40,080 I'm really worried that she's going to get to the point 828 00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:42,440 that she's just going to go off those legs 829 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,000 and collapse. 830 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:46,560 It could be something cancerous. 831 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:48,960 The other thing you could be dealing with 832 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,360 is if you've got some damage to the liver. 833 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,880 Neither of which are... 834 00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:56,160 - Curable. - Yeah. 835 00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:58,320 Is she suffering now? 836 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:02,520 Any animal that's not eating is not in a good state. 837 00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:05,440 She's so unsteady on her feet, isn't she? 838 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,560 If you don't make the decision now, 839 00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:10,481 I have a feeling that we'll be in this position in another week's time 840 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,960 with her collapsed down the bottom of there. 841 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:18,480 If she's not going to get better and she's suffering, 842 00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,800 it's Dignitas time. 843 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:22,040 Yeah. 844 00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:30,680 So if you want me to do the deed, 845 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:32,120 then I'll sort it out, 846 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:37,280 and then you'll need to get someone in to take her away 847 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,136 - after everything's done. - When would you do the deed? 848 00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:41,200 I can do it now, 849 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:43,720 if you would like. 850 00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:44,960 Fucking hell. 851 00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,440 - What do you think? - I can give you a bit of time. 852 00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:54,080 I don't want her to be unhappy, in pain, or to get sicker. 853 00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:56,136 - And then... - You don't want her to die either. 854 00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,960 I don't want her to die with a broken leg having fallen down there 855 00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:02,720 and just be all crumpled up and alone. 856 00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,640 I know. It's always a really difficult decision. 857 00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:08,320 She's so lovely. 858 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,456 She does seem like she's got a bit of a sweet nature. 859 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,840 She's really sweet. She's always been the sweetest. 860 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,000 Yeah. 861 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:16,560 Well... 862 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,240 Yeah? Time? 863 00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,080 It's fine. You don't have to be present if you don't want to be. 864 00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:35,840 - Yeah. I don't want to see it. - No. 865 00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,640 - Thanks, Jenny. - That's not a problem. Okay. 866 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,480 Bye, Baroness. 867 00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:00,360 Oh, God... 868 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:14,520 All right, darling. Time's up, I'm afraid.